Therapy Poem
Hello!
What does poetry have to do with therapy? Great question!
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I don’t always write a poem a day, but I've managed a few each week recently. When I do write, I like to follow the advice of Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer. In my case, I aim to create spontaneously, write without an opening or ending in mind, and to prioritize writing something true over something great.
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True poems have a wonderful capacity to point to realities just beyond the reach of words. Especially all those experiences that are more about a feeling than a way of knowing.
Therapy, and the experience of connecting with a deeper sense of self, can be like that. Imagine, for instance, eating a ripe, juicy mango—no description I give is going to match to actual experience of mango juices running down your chin, on a warm evening, as you bite into a ripe mango eating dinner with friends. But take one bite, and you know it for yourself. The experiences of love, grief, struggle, beauty and connecting with a deeper sense of self are often like that too.
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One of my sincerest hopes is that everyone gets to taste the richness and depth of this experience of connecting with themselves on a deeper level, or to be reminded of how you already have in the past.
Below is my attempt at crafting a poem to capture some of that healing process in the context of therapy.
Two Shorten the Road
Softening, allowing, loving, and healing
Toward the parts of us that have suffered
And been hurt,
That are still hurting
From experiences small and large,
Some of overwhelm and unwanted aloneness;
Others of loss, or betrayal, or unmet needs
Of not feeling safe, seen, or heard
loved, valued, or respected
With all the sadness, shame, and guilt,
Anxiety, and defenses that grew out of it
It’s hard to soften toward those parts of us
We just want the feelings to go away
We run and hide
Push the feelings down
Consume, numb ourselves out
Or the feelings take over completely
And carry us away
Relentlessly chasing the missing pieces
Stumbling after a sense of feeling safe, seen, and significant
Finding it for a moment
Holding on so tight...
Only to feel it slip away
And oh, how we take up the chase again!
The parts of us that hurt are hard to be with
It’s hard to soften toward anger, and resentment
Toward the fears in us
Toward the parts of us that vehemently exclaim,
I am never going to let THAT happen again
Toward the parts of us that are still running, hiding, walling off
It’s hard to soften toward sadness, and regret
Toward the memories of loved ones who let us down
Especially those we trusted
Or important people who were supposed to be there for us
Friends, family, partners, or parents
who were supposed to protect us
But didn’t
Or worse, who hurt us
And still,
Something healing and transformational happens
When we sit with those hurting parts of us
—not as enemies—
But as caring friends
Being with the hurting, sensitive parts that need us
Simply allowing those feelings to be there,
Without shame, without guilt
Without the urgency to run away or change them
Then, with curiosity, from our best selves,
We say to them,
It’s ok
I’m here for you
Let me walk you home...
It is a sacred act
To sit fully present...
Softening, allowing, and loving
In the hard places
Learning to love ourselves whole
—again,
Or for the first time
To see the best of me
—that is already here
Embrace it, know that it is true
And live boldly from it
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by Justin Grotheer
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